Jack Bauer Hates Asia

First Jack gets kidnapped by the Chinese and is tortured for two years in a Chinese prison.

Now, to advertise the rental release of the Season 6 DVD of '24' in Japan, these commercials are airing on Japanese tv.

The lyrics to the "Jack Bauer Song" translate to this...

I’m Jack Bauer; Always in danger. I’m Jack Bauer; I never die.

I’m Jack Bauer; I get pissed easily. I’m Jack Bauer; I’m actually a crybaby.

I’m Jack Bauer; To the guys who don’t confess. I’m Jack Bauer; I yell at them from really close.

I’m Jack Bauer; 24th is 24’s day. I’m Jack Bauer; Let’s go to a rental video place.

Song 2:

I’m Jack Bauer; I don’t take orders from anyone. I’m Jack Bauer; And I drag everyone along.

I’m Jack Bauer; I’m good with dealing with danger. I’m Jack Bauer; Weak for my daughter.

I’m Jack Bauer; I’m an immortal man. I’m Jack Bauer; Sometimes I pass out.

I’m Jack Bauer; My phone bill is crazy. I’m Jack Bauer; But my job pays for it.

I think some of the translations are hilarious. "My phone bill is crazy" is a classic line. At least his job pays for it.